How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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