I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
