nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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