Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
