marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
