Got a toothbrush?
i came on her dog
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
