All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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