I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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