I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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