i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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