Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router