Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.

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(302): View more from Delaware

dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience

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(586): View more from Michigan

apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(313): View more from Michigan

I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.

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(256): View more from Alabama

The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.

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(647): View more from Ontario

btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.

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(703): View more from Virginia

It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!

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