quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage