Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I can be that talented

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  (805 ): Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters (303): I can be that talented http://tfl.nu/rub2
  Replies (35) Good night (6182) Bad night (414)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!

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  (712): He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!! http://tfl.nu/bjv4
  Replies (15) Good night (639) Bad night (5148) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.

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  (514): take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk. http://tfl.nu/mcib
  Replies (47) Good night (9866) Bad night (1109) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.

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  (610): As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet. http://tfl.nu/swmp
  Replies (18) Good night (9826) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public

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  (636): I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public http://tfl.nu/ux7y
  Replies (9) Good night (832) Bad night (4102) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Found your pants in the mailbox

  (646): View more from New York

  What were my pants doing in the mailbox?

  (516): View more from New York

  I don't know but there's postage on them

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  (516): Found your pants in the mailbox (646): What were my pants doing in the mailbox? (516): I don't know but there's postage on them http://tfl.nu/6yt8
  Replies (36) Good night (5878) Bad night (1037)
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  (845): View more from New York

  im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina

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  (845): im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina http://tfl.nu/gfgs
  Replies (12) Good night (1133) Bad night (2722) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".

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  (815): I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock". http://tfl.nu/fz13
  Replies (25) Good night (4800) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.

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  (615): you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this. http://tfl.nu/3l9v
  Replies (30) Good night (980) Bad night (7479) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.

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  (212): I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker. http://tfl.nu/yz4c
  Replies (11) Good night (789) Bad night (1909) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore

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  (480): its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore http://tfl.nu/mq1v
  Replies (7) Good night (774) Bad night (1996) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.

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  (903): All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed. http://tfl.nu/pos0
  Replies (3) Good night (2009) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.

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  (609): He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state. http://tfl.nu/7xin
  Replies (24) Good night (304) Bad night (1063) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao

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  (201): For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao http://tfl.nu/eyan
  Replies (7) Good night (683) Bad night (265)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...

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  (405): I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes... (918): Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly... http://tfl.nu/fe10
  Replies (8) Good night (972) Bad night (222)

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