im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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