Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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