Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i've created a new STD.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
