Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
