Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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