i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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