stop calling my apartment porn island.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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