Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
