Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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