Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
