at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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