Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just blew my weed a kiss
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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