wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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