how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
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Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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