pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
