so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
