I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
