you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize