Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
