You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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