i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize