fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
