my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
