y did u give ur computer a hand job?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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