at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
