HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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