Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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