White coat. Heels.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This house was built for laser tag.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
