The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize