come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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