After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
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Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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