weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You ruined the universe
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