Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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