it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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