i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
