If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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