Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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