dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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