is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
