O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
