I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
