Ketchup is God's man juice
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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