New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I am naked and annoyed.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
