have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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