I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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