i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
