Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
