I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
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i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
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No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
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Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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